HAPPY BIRTHDAY THANUSHA DARLING :)

i would like to say sorry before hand because i think i might offend a whole load of people today in my post.
i find that i have not been very truthful in my blog.
and its time because sometimes when you keep things inside for too long its not helpful.

i have learned a lesson never to interfere in another person's business
even if it is my best friend getting hurt.
images flow into my mind as i grab hold of some of them.
i agree i was mad.
who wld not be.
esp when my friend was being hurt.
i stood up for her and in the process made enemies.
now even my enemy (though she hates me) still talks to me.
but you don't.
truthfully everytime i see yr face i feel like smacking you with something.
i admit i was not suposed to be involved.
hey even u were not supposed to, its was their problem.
look at us now.
we aren't talking and i have this very sour feeling when i look at you.
i guess its all my fault for getting involved and saying things i was not supposed to.
bt i can't turn back time can i?
well if you are mad well hey I AM SO SORRY.
bt seriously i dunno what u r thinking.
& you.
what was it all about saying things that you have overcome you problem and don't need help from anyone. blah blah blah.
full of crap was it not.
i thought i trusted you.
i thought u were different.
but u are indifferent from everyone else.

i must thank fathiah though.
she has always made me smile and i love her loads.

you people are nothing like bff.
jus backstabbers and idiots.
friends stay through thick and thin.
loved me didn't you then.
but not anymore.
now u hate me.
ive seen your true colours and sitting infront of me acting so pathetic is not helping.

English results was like crap today.
I never wanted this to happen but it did.
In my whole 16 years of living, I never failed anything that had got to do with english.
I failed my english comprehension. 15/50
What the heck was I thinking.
Only 3 people out of 38 students passed compre.
It was so horrible.
I was shocked.
Never, ever did I fail english.
But the thing that did calm me down was my Compo & Sitational writting.
I recieved 15/30 for my compo.
I must admit that I was not very happy because I usually get 18 onwards.
But the fact that most of my classmates had gotten single digit for their compo was unspeakable.
I mouth praise in my heart when I recieved my paper 1 and was relieved.
The marker commented that I had excellent use of english and used great words to my ability but added that I went out of point. *gosh I kind of suspected something like that*
My situational writting could have been done better too. 16/30
I kind of used the wrong format and furthermore I did not have a proper ending.
I think i deserved there marks.
But I still haven't recovered from the shock that I failed my compre badly.
I mean if I had gotten 20plus/50 I would have understood that the passage was tough.
But a 15??
Man its so crazy right now.

reading jo's blog, i realised that even i have missed a great part of my life.
i read her tue's blog abt J&J's birthday.
somehow i must admit i felt the same way too.
well maybe jo, they really were special and who r we?
a bunch of people who r invisible.
we don't have feelings.
like robots.
it is unfair jo.
but u r not the only one treated differently even i am treated differently.
not only were u told to go into the room, but me too.
bt i guess she was a bit more ruder to you.
well i feel left out too.
everyone has their own circle of friends and those who promised to bff broke it.
no more bff.
all i have are my god siblings that i only get to see during recess.
we may have friends but like jo said they r never there when we need them.
i guess jo its life.
unhappiness but still things to move on with.

man i still salute you cai ning for keep my past within you buried.
somtimes i regreted telling you my problems and my pain and my past.
i was afraid that you would make a big deal out of it and all.
but i appreciate the fact that u haven't told anyone abt it. Or have you?

Man I must say that I could not concentrate during E-maths test.
All I could hear ringing in my ears were sounds of calculators.
Don't people have the courtesy to be gentle with their calculators.
Not for the calculators sake but for the people around you.
Man I was getting pissed.
I did hiss now and then but I guess they had no idea what I was hissing about.

Its time for registration for the DSA&DPA.
I could choose to register for either one or both.
But I would like more options opened to me.
So Im applying for both JC & Poly.
I hope they send me offers.

oh and by the way you can choose to comment about my post in whatever way u wan coz i dn care really. becoz i never going to get hurt by what other people say abt me. u hate me? then fine i don't care. i am who i am. u can't change me. so don't try. hurting me with what u say, never works. coz you are nothing in my eyes. jus dust.

10 days to Mother Tongue O Level
31 days to my birthday *well who cares about it after all* (making mental note to stop posting about it)