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♥Friday, February 27, 2009 ' 10:19 PM
Awesome. ♥

A week since the first of January…

A day of sullen cloud,

not much, but a sufficient shroud,

pretending like it’s going to rain;

Instilling belief in a castle in Spain

I bump my bike on stone wall;

Not that I had no pair

of brakes, not a flaunt of debonair,

I crashed the stand on ashen ground,

Shooting lifeless stares all around…


I set my feet in motion,

for seven rounds, on the trot;

A hand on my emotional quotient,

for there was a war to be fought;

Trivial onslaught,

and a quantum of heat,

A clash of conceit, akin;

Never was it my sin!


A minute and a second

took me to my second,

when I saw the back

of that stern head;

I felt myself disintegrate,

shred by shred;


My world lost its colour,

and my life had gotten stale,

Grayscale:

Without a hue, in my vision

to be seen,

Grayscale:

I had lost the charm

on my retinal screen…


My trauma hit a fever pitch,

as I glimpsed an ‘old man’ pitch,

to his batsman of a son,

who had just begun;

It reminded me of my days,

when I was merely four,

when I wished to touch the sky,

all ready, to reach for more…


But now…

I lost my world

and it lost its colour, and

I had fallen sick from being hale…

Grayscale:

Wasn’t a trace of a tint

in my mind, to find,

Grayscale:

Oh, I had finally turned colour-blind!


If only I had a rewind button

to press,

I’d be out of my distress

in no time;

I could even become a clown,

than the Martyr-Mime

that I am now…


I know, that I erred

in letting you go,

that it’s hard to be

a one-man-show,

I need you in my life;


I need a rise: At least a word

if not a piece of advice,

for without you, I’ve

got no world, got no colour,

and eternally will I ail,


Grayscale:

You’re my rainbow,

as far as I can see,

Grayscale:

Dad,

You’re everything to me…




1 Comments:

hey Veni!! Long time!! :) Nice post, but why untitled??

By Blogger Shravan Vijayaprasad, @ 10:54 AM  

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♥ ' 8:42 PM
Awesome. ♥

My paternal granny is faster than I thought.
(Finally I managed to differentiate paternal and maternal)

Well anyway, paternal granny, papa's mother, was supposed to bring me to see my siblings on Wednesday, but she totally left me in a pleasant shock when she told me that we would visit them tomorrow instead!!
Argh!
I'm so nervous now!!
LOL.
I mean everything is happening so fast.
Tomorrow straight after work, I'll be going over to their place.
Yay!
I'm excited too.
*Grins*
Well I wanted Wednesday to be here soon right?
It is, just that its Saturday!
LOL.
I've got to get my best outfit...
Something that would fit into my bag and would not crumple while I'm at work.
Argh!!
Tomorrow, around 6.30pm, I would have officially met my siblings after a million years.
LOL.
(Note: I'm addressing them as siblings instead of step siblings)
I'm actually proud to say that I have 2 elder brothers and an elder sister.
Oh my, oh my...
I'm just hoping that no one else finds out about the visit tomorrow.
It was hard work to plan all this.
But paternal granny made it all possible...

Anyway work has been hectic the past 2 days.
Because after a whole week of slacking at home, yesterday was the 1st day of work.
People said they missed me and all, but who knows whether they mean it.
LOL.
I've started to speak a few words to her...
But its only because we are colleagues...
*Sigh*

Excited still!
Can't explain the feeling.
Tomorrow is do or die...



PS: I'm sorry if I hurt your eyes with the colours and all. But I like it this way.




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♥Tuesday, February 24, 2009 ' 11:06 PM
Awesome. ♥

PK, your internet connection sucks!
The internet connection has kept him away for 2 days!!
And damn I hate it!

Anyway today at church was when reality sunk in.
Furthermore another broken relationship was supposed to get mend.
But it just might not work.
Not that I'm going to keep thinking about it.
But it just happens so I lost all the respect I had on her after she repeatedly denied saying such things.
It was so embarrassing.
It made it seem like I was lying about it.
And I was like "God, where the heck is justice?".
It made me question God's existence, why he did such a think to me.
Anyways atleast I'm not going to be hunt down by guilt for telling on her.
And this is a lesson, I'm not going to trust anyone, anyone at all.

Anyway Aunty Pushpa, my dad's first wife talked to me on the phone later today.
She seemed so excited to have me come over and she wanted me to come over asap.
LOL.
And she kept addressing me as her own daughter.
My granny told me of how my step siblings referred to me as their own sister and how they kept asking about me whenever they called or they visited.
Sometimes they even fought with my granny for not bringing me over.
Granny told me how my eldest brother would tell everyone that he has another younger sister and all.
Gosh I can't wait to see these amazing people and my nephew too.
LOL.

Well I'm going off now.
Tomorrow is my last day of freedom, then I would have to get to work on thursday!
Arghh!
I want to quit now!



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♥ ' 12:54 PM
Awesome. ♥

By far I'm the happiest girl in the whole world today!
My granny, (father's mother) came over to my place yesterday.
Today once my grandmother. (mother's mother) went out, my granny and I chit chated.
She was telling me how mu step siblings ask about me and all.
And then I broke the news to her that I really wanted to meet them.
And my granny ever so sweet, was very happy and decided that once my parents come back, we'll go.
LOL.
I'm excited!
My eldest step brother Vijayan always tells everyone that he has another younger sister though he does not acknowledge my father.
And guess what?
Me and granny would be sneaking out next Wednesday to visit my siblings!
Yay!
I can't wait to see Murali & Magesh!
Its nerve wrecking too.
I told my mum that I'll be bringing granny to the hospital for her appointment.
In other words, I lied.
I don't mean to, but its the only way I can get to see them!
Imagine their surprise when my granny tells them I'm coming!!
How I wish 4th March is tomorrow!!
Argh!!
I can't wait to see them.
I wonder how they would allow me back into their lives.
But I miss them.
I hope I'm not making a mistake, and I hope my parents don't find out.
Fingers crossed.



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♥ ' 12:38 AM
Awesome. ♥

Did I ever say how good looking Dev Patel is?
Did I talk about his star quality and his English accent?
Come on, he was born and bred in London!!
LOL.
Some hot stuff he is.
Haha

Dev Patel, officially my prince charming.
Charming isn't he?
LOL.
I just can't stop talking about him.
Remember the secret in my previous post, well its still a secret, so keep it as one!

Yeah they look lovely and all, but she!!
She stole my prince charming from me...
LOL.
But look at those two.
They look at each other as if they are truly, madly in love.
Oh please Dev, not her, don't fall for her.


Yup and the dress that was amazing!
Surprisingly she turned about in something decent and surprisingly I loved it.
Anyway i just wanted to say, again, I LOVE DEV PATEL & SLUMDOG MILLIONARE.
LOL. =)

Look at the time, well I had a nap in the evening, for about 4 hours?
From 6.30pm - 10.00pm.
Wait that is not 4 hours, its 3.5 hours.
LOL.
Anyway Pulkesh still isn't here.
It's not like him to be late.
I wonder what's taking him so long.
Oh wait, I forgot, I was an hour late.
So probably he left.
But he didn't leave any offline msg!
PK!!!



2 Comments:

I'm coming up with a post on OSCAR! Please check out. Yours rocks too!

By Anonymous Anonymous, @ 11:55 AM  

i adore dev! and absolutely loved that film!

By Blogger Unknown, @ 3:43 AM  

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♥Monday, February 23, 2009 ' 4:11 PM
Awesome. ♥

Super excited!!
Class chalet soon!
Yipee!!

Anyway I woke up early today to catch the Oscars.
And I was rooting for Slumdog Millionare.
Yay!
Well out of 9 nominations in which it was in, it swept away 8 awards!
Woohoo!
Gosh and let me tell you a secret!
I have a crush on Dev Patel, the Hero of Slumdog Millionare.
Shhh!!
It's a secret, so shut it.
LOL.
Well it ended awesomely with the whole Slumdog Millionare cast & crew on stage, not forgetting to mention Dev Patel who was at the back, but I couldn't miss him.
LOL.
It was amazing, I was so glad to see all that glitz and glamour and I loved Miley Cyrus's Dress!
Awesome!
LOL.

I'll blog more later!
LOL



1 Comments:

hanna looking great

By Anonymous Anonymous, @ 3:16 AM  

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♥Sunday, February 22, 2009 ' 10:07 PM
Awesome. ♥



I'm over your lies,
and I'm over your games.
I'm over you asking me,
when you know I'm not okay.
You call me at night,
and I pick up the phone.
And though you've been telling me,
I know you're not alone.
oh..

That's why
(your eyes)
I'm over it
(your smile)
I'm over it
(realize)
I'm over it
I'm over it
I'm over..

Wanting you,
to be wanting me.
No that ain't no way to be.
How I feel, read my lips,
because I'm so over..
Moving on, it's my time,
you never were a friend of mine.
Hurt at first, a little bit,
but now I'm so over.
I'm so over it..

I'm over your hands,
and I'm over your mouth.
Trying to drag me down,
and fill me with self-doubt.
oh..

That's why,
(your words)
I'm over it
(so sure)
I'm over it
(I'm not your girl)
I'm over it
I'm over it
I'm over...

Wanting you,
to be wanting me.
No that ain't no way to be.
How I feel, read my lips,
because I'm so over..
Moving on, it's my time,
you never were a friend of mine.
Hurt at first, a little bit,
but now I'm so over.
I'm so over it..

Don't call,
don't come by,
ain't no use,
don't ask me why,
you'll never change,
there'll be no more crying in the rain.

Wanting you,
to be wanting me.
No that ain't no way to be.
How I feel, read my lips,
because I'm so over..
Moving on, it's my time,
you never were a friend of mine.
Hurt at first, a little bit,
but now I'm so over.
I'm so over it..

I'm so over it....
I'm over it....

Wanting you,
to be wanting me.
No that ain't no way to be.
How I feel, read my lips,
because I'm so over..
Moving on, it's my time,
you never were a friend of mine.
Hurt at first, a little bit,
but now I'm so over.
I'm so over it..

Dedicated to "you know who".
It was hard!
But life has to go on!
Love ya =)



1 Comments:

hey Veni !
can you email me 4e1 livejournal username and password? haha !
THANKS ! (:

By Anonymous Anonymous, @ 1:07 AM  

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♥ ' 8:33 PM
Awesome. ♥

393rd Post!
What significance...
LOL. =)
Starting a blog, trying my best to keep it updated and all.
Now I'm getting a hang of it.
I learnt to let go many things as I started to grow up.
I learnt to let go off so many things that was of significance.
Gosh!
I'm so random, I have no idea why I'm bringing this up.
LOL. =)

Anyway I've made plans for the future.
Haha.
I'm going to quit work on the 31st March. Tuesday! (Hopefully a little earlier is Mum allows)
Haha!
I'm excited!
Finally I'm going to get my life started and I might just be united with my 1st very best friend.
I'm not even sure if she would talk to me or if we would meet.
It's been ages, years even.
She did quite badly for her O level which kinda means that she can only get into the course I am in.
Which I kinda hope she does.
I want to renew my friendship with her.
But if she is going to be so caught up with her church and what they say.
Then I'm sorry I'm sure to find someone else.
Not such a small place is it?
Haha.

Today she finally found her way there.
No wonder it rained.
Like I could be bothered to talk to her but for courtesy I acknowledged her.
And she just could not be bothered to speak properly either.
I know though that Tuesday is going to be almost a big mess.
A huge confrontation is going to occur and I'm praying hard that God shows me some grace.
Overlooks what I did before and gets me justice.
Lying doesn't make things better girl, so I'm expecting you to tell the truth.
If you don't, God will judge you I hope.

I'm here, so bored.
Waiting for PulKesh.



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♥Saturday, February 21, 2009 ' 11:29 PM
Awesome. ♥

Ever wanted to be that only girl to that only guy?
LOL.
I don't know why I'm bringing this up.
But anyway I made in online today.
So I'm chatting with PK.
And I felt something today.
Something good I assure you.
LOL.
=)
That guy knows ways to a girls heart.
It may seem like he was going to hurt your pride and confidence, but *Dang!*.
He makes you feel so loved!
LOL.
Gross!
Haha.
I don't know where I'm going with this.

Well I got my Enrollment Package and wow NYP is full of new things.
Well I'm going to have some orientation from the 7th April - 9th April.
LOL.
Well I'm excited!!
Super duper excited.
I have to get tons of things done.
Need to go for some medical checkups, and many forms to fill up, then I still have to pay my fees!
Gosh and I need a laptop badly, but I guess I'll get in school when they have the notebook roadshow.
Going to meet new people.
And I'm going to start school on 20th April 2009!!
It quite far away, but it will fly soon.
I'll quite somewhere at the end of March, about 4 weeks to go.
Then I would use April to go shopping for new wardrobe, settling last minute school stuff, having my last 2 weeks of fun.
And then finally school would start.
My whole school term calender is out!
LOL.

Anyway the unbeatables are busy playing tic-tac-toe poker on MSN.
(Me & Pulkesh)
We are playing a game now.
So ciaoz.



2 Comments:

oh la la!!! Veni has a cruuush ;D That's exciting!! <3 And it sounds like you're excited for school :D That's cool! I end school in June xD It's so weird!! But the uni will be cool.. :) Hope you're doing great!! Lots of love and hugs <333

By Anonymous Anonymous, @ 4:14 AM  

LOL Melody, its not a crush!
He is a friend!
A good one too!
How can I have a crush on him?
LOL

By Blogger Sarah Krishna Veni, @ 7:24 PM  

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♥ ' 2:21 PM
Awesome. ♥

I'm really at some kinda end right now.
The online chatting is really shity.
I mean does online chatting bring about feelings??
Maybe.
Maybe not.
But I miss chatting with Pulkesh though it has just been a day.
And I know I'm not coming online to chat with him tonight either...
So now how??

LOL.
Gosh why am I doing this now??
Well in about a week, my mother would have finally taken flight to Singapore.
And on Sunday morning, I would be in her arms, just like I always was.
Remember the Feb 18 post where I had a list of things to be done by the end of this month?
Well I still haven't started.
I made plans to begin soon, but I haven;t started on a single one yet.

I'm still wondering what is the use of all this when im not doing anything.
Is there any reason for me to live at all.

Anyway a very cool friend of mine had done a few poems or songs (as he insists) but anyway I wanted to share a very lovely one that I fell head over heels for.
Not him, his poem or song.


SUN-EYED GIRL.

Locking lips amidst a limelight lullaby;
with Bettie Buttercup
in a daffodil dress,
Strands sparkling, for a dirty blonde;
Unkempt, but with
a Marigold harness,
Talc tempting to go beyond,
Beyond!

No silt to stop River Romance;
“Love, you make me feel
like a rain-cloud at noon,
swelling to swoon,
I’m the helpless harp
That you set to tune;
Poor, poor, pestilent moon…”

None too soon,
it came to the kiss
not one to miss;
I brushed past
the ring on her nose:
I chose, to speak,
than take a perverted peek
at her tongue;
A serenade solemnly sung…

“My Sun-Eyed Girl…”

Thus ended, a downcast dominion,
broke free from her hold;
Had I turned meek,
from being bold?!
Seeking the slightest glint of gold
that I think that I see:

My, what’s happened to me…?!

I’m stuck inside the fence
of my own frozen mould,
I feel so cold,
down, out and dead-beat;
Desperate for some magic heat!!!

I’m a topaz tragedy,
Pallid parody…

“My Sun-Eyed Girl…
Shine your light on me…”

Lemon-yellow blossoms,
or bedazzling bosoms,
she’s more than just
a ray of hope;
A count of cocaine dope:
Stimulating a surge of vitality, in me,
with her Ballistic missile;
That surreal source
of scorching brightness
which the world calls a smile…

“My Sun-Eyed Girl…”

“Thank you for fawning on
my Sunflower fantasy;”

“My Sun-Eyed Girl:”

“Thank you, for shining on me…”

“My Sun-Eyed Girl!

Thank you,
for smiling on me…”


This is an original work of mine, i.e. P.KARTHIK, and any usage without authorisation is a copyright © infringement and is a criminal offence.


LOL. He is going to be real pissed when he finds it here.
But I'm sorry Kathik, I had to show the world what I liked.
LOL.
I just hope he doesn't come here first.

I'm so tired recently in fact I'm getting lazier.
LOL.
I should make an attempt to move my butt to do things.
Anyway I'm going to catch something on TV now.
Seeya around.



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♥Friday, February 20, 2009 ' 5:32 PM
Awesome. ♥

I'm crying now!!!
I'm crying real bad!!!
It sucks to think that all those times are gone!!
Maybe it was because of my jealousy!!
Maybe it was because she had n0 time for me!!
Whatever it may be, i lost.
I lost something that I had meant to keep a lifetime.
I'm not sure it I'll ever come across it again.
It may take forever.

We had differences, but we still stood by each other!!
Oh gosh I'm so emotional.
It sucks now that I don't have that special someone in my life.
Maybe I was simply jealous!!!
Or I guess I was jealous?
I don't know!!
But my stupidity got me here!

I guess I deserve this!
I'm an idiot!
Oh gosh!!
How can I let it slip away like that?
What is wrong with me??

I was fine for the few weeks.
I was glad it was over.
Why am I crying over this now??
I'm not sure if she is devastated!
But I am!
But I am not going to tell.
June weddings at the Plaza



1 Comments:

What on earth??
I thought you promised you had moved on??
I think its too kiddish don't you think?
Move on Veni!
It deeply saddens us when you are like that.
Cheer up!

Lionel-Roar

By Anonymous Anonymous, @ 9:13 PM  

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♥Thursday, February 19, 2009 ' 4:34 PM
Awesome. ♥

I watched an amazing movie...
Slumdog Millionare.
No words can explain the feeling...
Hats off to Danny Boyle and the rest of the team.
Incredible performance put together!
Amazing & Awesome.



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♥Wednesday, February 18, 2009 ' 9:26 PM
Awesome. ♥

List of things to be done by the end of this month.

1. Learn to cook 2 new healthy snacks.
2. Try to sleep at night without forgetting to brush my teeth.
3. Exercise atleast twice weekly.
4. Bring granny out to dinner :P
5. Start having a social life, eg. make 2 penpals, stop working my ass off, hang out with ex-school friends.
6. Start a new hobby?? (LOL. just a thought)
7. Clean out that top cupboard that mum has been bugging me to clean forever.
8. Clear out my secondary school textbook and maybe sell them at the bras basar bookshop. Haha!
9. Spend more time with granny, show her how much I love her when she is not being a monster. LOL :)
10. Cut down on word of speech, Speak only when necessary.
11. Attempt tying a new hair style.
12. Get over broken relationships in my life, still got a long way to go in life and I can forge more meaningful ones.
13. Get over conservative mentality of mine and set certain limits for myself.
14. Try to find my inner self. The real me :)
15. Get over the sensitivity in me, I'm a big girl now =)
16. Iron all the clothes in the over flowing basket.





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♥Tuesday, February 17, 2009 ' 10:34 PM
Awesome. ♥

I guess I did something wrong today...
Not my fault!!

Anyway I miss mummy.
I call her every morning and night and we have tons to talk about.
I can't wait for her to come back.

I think I'm becoming a good girl.
By the time my mummy comes back, I'm sure she would be proud of her-small-big-girl.

PK is missing in action...
Oh, i saw him pop online.
LOL.
Time to chat with PK.
I owe him so much for being online when I need him.
I need to make up to all the lost time.
LOL.
BB people.



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♥Sunday, February 15, 2009 ' 11:30 PM
Awesome. ♥

Well for the next two weeks I have very much lost everything!!
Right now, my mum and dad would be in the plane to a destination that would keep up apart.
I cried...
I cried so bad when I had to let her go.
Well its only for two weeks right?
I'll see her next month...
I'm counting down to seeing her.
Its quite late at the moment but I'm staying up to wait for my mum to call me when she lands.
My grandma (Father's mum) came over to send mum and dad off.
And apparently she is staying over.
So that means I'm officially stuck with 2 grandma!!
Arghh!
LOL.
Either way today I managed to learn a lot of things.
Like the fact that my grandma (Father's mum) got married when she was about 13 years old to my grandpa who was 40 years old at that time.
LOL.
Then my grandma went on talking about her children, grand children and great grand children.
LOL.
Let me elaborate.


Mary Bartlet (Nurse) (Aunty) + ? = Heidi (News reporter, script writer & author) and Emma.(Lecturer) ( My cousins)
Emma + Richard (Some telecoms company) = Pheobe and Aaron. (My niece and nephew)
All mentioned above live in London, England.

My uncle, (don't know what is his name) + Jaya = Kannan and Premalatha.
Both of the children are married.
Premalatha happened to be the top student or something.
Kannan lives in London, England with his wife.
Premalatha in Australia married to some rich man.
LOL.
My Uncle and Aunty in Spore.

Deravian Uncle + Aunty (forgot her name too) = Viji, Lynette & another one (name also forgotten)
One of them is already married to someone called Richard. (Another Richard)
One is registered to get married.
The other is apparently studying.
One is studying to become a lawyer at the same time working.
Apparently the last one doesn't want to get married.

Daddy + some women = Vijiayan, Murali, Magesh
Vijiyan is married to a women in the army and already has a son. (My nephew!!!)
Murali is in the army, (Mum told me that of all 3, he was the nicest)
Magesh is working

Daddy + Mummy = Me!!
Grandma (Father's mum) mentioned that in all of dad's offsprings, I'm the only one who made it to poly.
Apparently, I'm the youngest of all her 11 grandkids.
I'm out to prove myself that I can make it to university too and maybe then, the rest of my cousins would show some respect.
I never met any of these cousins except for a few whom I don't have any contact with.
But who cares, its fate that we don't belong together...

But I love my other cousins from the other side.
They are the best.
They are the best even though they don't update the cousins blog.
LOL.

I'm missing mummy...
Anyway I got some wrong information from someone who got the wrong info as well.
Jansen is not going to NYP!!
He is going to TP!!!
Teeya!!!
Jansen is not at NYP!!!
No more school mates!!!
LOL.

I'm going to play sims if PK doesn't come online soon.




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♥Tuesday, February 10, 2009 ' 10:29 PM
Awesome. ♥

I'm not ready for it...
I'm not ready to let mummy go...
How is it possible for me not to let go of her...
Arghh!!
I'm really going to miss mummy.
The days fly so fast eh.
Just about 5 days and she would be gone.
Then the next 2 weeks will be like 2 years...

At the moment there are so many responsibilities in church.
I've got tons of things to help out with.
And gosh I'm so freeked.
I've got to stop doing my night shifts already.
Well for this week I'll be at Junction 8 till friday.
Saturday it would be back to Plaza Singapura.
But thank God I would only be there till 5pm.
Then I would have to go to church and type out the songs and stuff into lappy so that the projector will work, blah blah.
So this year my valentines day is a big huge goner.
LOL.
I'll be spending it in church with a bunch of hopeless teenagers...
LOL.
Atleast this year, my birthday would be spent well I hope.
Because I'll be on holidays!!!
Yay...
My holiday starts on June 15.
Just one day before my birthday.
How cool.
But sadly...
Every year my birthday happens to be during the holidays.
I never went to school on my birthday.
Never spent it with friends.
But most of the time spent it with family.
Well forget about birthday.
It's valentines day this saturday and my mum's last day in singapore and I can't spend it with her...
Atleast I hope by this time next year I can spend my valentines day with someone.
LOL.
Kidding...

Chatting with my dear PK after a long time now.
Well from next week onwards I can be online longer because mum won't be around.
But there are limits.
I better be a good girl like I always have been and will be.
LOL.



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♥Monday, February 09, 2009 ' 4:25 PM
Awesome. ♥

I am super hyper and excited!!
Not only did I get posted to NYP's Information Technology but also did I know I'll be having 3 of my secondary school class mates as my poly classmates as well.
LOL.
Well I heard that most of my classmates got into NYP.
And I'm really excited to know that I'll get to be with Teeya and some others.
And also I'll be in the same course as Wen Yi, Sara Chan & Jansen Chew!!!
LOL...
Atleast I'm not going to be lost on my first day and I'm sure I can count on these people.
LOL.
Well I just can't wait for school to start.
Yippee!!!!
And I can't wait to see Teeya & the rest.
Hope you are reading this Teeya!!
I miss you so very much, loved the shawl you gave me.
Hopefully I can get something to match it and I'll wear it for the 1st day of school.
Now we both don't have to get up early.
And maybe we could even go to school together~
It's fate!
God hates to separate you and me.
Love you Teeya!!



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♥Tuesday, February 03, 2009 ' 1:03 AM
Awesome. ♥

I can choose not to listen to her, or maybe I could.
Either way, its not my fault that I ended up with that course right?
If this was God's will, then changing it could really end the wrong way.
Anyway I've left it in God's hands.
And I'm not going to listen to anyone!
Men is a mere hindrance and discouragement.

This year there were so many things that affected me!!
Firstly my O level results, in a good way at first.
But when I was doing my JAE appeal, I realised that there was a huge mistake in the points thingy and i got super bummed and pissed.
Then the part where my best friend had a boy friend and totally felt everyone around her was invisible.
Then the part when my best friend had her first kiss with that idiot!!!
Then the part when I ended it with my best friend of almost 5 years.
Then the JAE posting results...
The JAE posting results really bummed me terribly.
I mean it was a dream!!!
People had already made booking in advance for advice in case they got depressed or mentally ill.
And I had to let them down!!!
After that I became sensitive to everything around me.
I felt myself crying for the most smallest issue.
And I felt so rejected.
Like God let me down!!!
And some people made me feel better by telling me that God has his plans of prospering me and there is something that he wants me to achieve by doing this course.
And then there are MANY people, who say things like, what future do you have in IT? what are you going to learn there, blah blah blah.
But, I know its for the best.
*Sigh*
I think its for the best...

Anyway last week I worked at J8 for about 4 days.
Then I got the news that this whole week I'll be at J8 as well.
Aiya!!
But its near for me, just that J8 is so small and it very open making it possible for heavy human traffic and business.
Aiyo...
Today I almost got myself into a mess with an Ahlian.
Whaa.
Thank God for being with me.
She left after a while when she knew I wasn't listening to her.
Gosh!!
Another reason why I hate J8 is because its near the schools and ITE.
And people from the ITE usually test my patience.

Today I had fun with Marcelle and Sheng Yang.
Crap la these two.
LOL.

Oh and my ex best friend was made to come to J8.
Happens so that she got chased back to PS again.
Thank God for not having me to speak to her.
I have gone through so much in this relationship and I'm glad it had to end.
Sometimes I wonder why people are in a relationship that is hurtful and horrible!!

Mum and Dad are going to India in about 12 days!!!
Argh!!
I'm so going to miss my Mummy!!!
She really was calm when I went through the difficult time.
She was beside me and even though she knew I was not going to listen to her, she still talked to me.
She kissed me and made me feel better during that low days.
And I'm going to miss her hugs.
For 2 whole weeks she would be gone!!!
For 2 whole weeks I can't see her face!!!
For 2 whole weeks I'll be going through hell without her!!!
For 2 whole weeks I will not have my personal hair stylist.
For 2 whole weeks I'll be lost without my dearest Mummy!!!
For 2 whole weeks there will be no one to control me!!
For 2 whole weeks there will be no one to tuck me into bed, kiss me in the morning and hug me when I'm down!
For 2 whole weeks I'll be living without Mummy.
To be relieved of the fact that I'm coming to a home without my Mum in it, I'm going to work full shift for the two weeks she would be gone.
Her flight is for 15th Feb, 10pm and she would come back on March after she settles the land matters.
I'm excited in a way too.
My mum just got a land in India, and once I've finished studying they can start the construction works.
It's going to be a 3-4 floor landed property and I got the liberty of decorating my own room!!
Woohoo!!
Still I'm sad that I can't get to see all my relatives and all those little cousins of mine.
Those cutie pies.
Anyway my mum is bringing my camera, so i hope she takes images of them!
LOL.
And that big land too.
LOL.
Its sad my Mum is leaving me behind.
There will be no one to do up a hairstyle for me.
All I know is that one and only pony tail that has not been cooperating with me nowadays.
MUMMY!!!

Well I'm really hoping to get to NYP.
So that I will have Teeya & Sally Salleh.
Oh and Reuben who is in year 2 can help me with school stuff.
And I really hope that I can start to click with some people.
I need friends!!!
I need social life!!!
I need to forget about her and move on!!
Aiya, I also have a teeny, tiiny wish that there are cute guys around.
LOL.
And maybe one will ask me out.
LOL.
I could sneak out for once without my mum knowing I think.
Haha.
I will never dare!

Tomorrow I'm finally meeting my clown Pei Ying.
She is at J8 tomorrow and I can crap about with her.
Haha.

Oh and Melody Montano!
I got your letter and your super cute earrings.
I'm going to wear them on my first day of school with my whole new wardrobe.
LOL.
LYLAS.



1 Comments:

Hi Veni!!
i'm glad you like the earrings :D You should take a pic of you on your first day of school so I can see :D
Hope things there are getting better! Take care <3 You rock! <3 love ya lots!!
Melody

By Anonymous Anonymous, @ 12:36 AM  

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♥Sunday, February 01, 2009 ' 8:02 PM
Awesome. ♥

Amended my appeal again.
3rd time already.
This time, I'm sure of what I want.
My first choice is NYP.
My second choice is SP.
My third choice is TP.
So I'm hoping that all goes well and this time, no place for cock ups.



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